Hey, you know what? You’re not the only one.
But you know what else? You’re not the first one who will get out of it.
Because yes, you will.
It may feel impossible right now. You may have felt this way for years. You may have grown in a negative environment filled with “reasons” to feel miserable.
But if you are here, reading this now, you are already on the right path: looking ahead.
Oh, wait a second. Let me start again and be clearer about what I mean. Because even though looking ahead is a good mindset, you should act carefully.
Is right now THAT bad?
Feeling miserable is not an easy state to explain. After all, there can be multiple reasons why you are feeling that way. And similarly, there can be numerous ways in which it transpires into your daily life.
However, the one common aspect to every single person feeling miserable is this: there is a reason.
A reason cannot be something in the exact present since, if it were, it would mean you will be feeling miserable in a moment. It could be in the very close past, yes, but it cannot be right now.
You’re going to tell me it doesn’t matter? If it has an impact on the present, then it is important?
Well then, tell me why.
Let me try to help you there: “Because I hate how I feel now.”
Oh right, that could make sense. But only if you keep the present connected to that past.
I know it can hurt so bad cutting that connection becomes incredibly hard. But this is what you need to focus on: right now.
By remembering the pleasures, the beauty of the things around you right now, you can slowly put those negative thoughts on the side, disconnecting from what has hurt you and made you feel this way.
The present is bad only if connected with a negative past.
Appreciate the small things, ones such as the weight of your body on the chair you’re sitting on, the smell coming from outside the window, the beautiful person you can see over there.
Hey, I’m well aware those won’t change your life. They may not even impact you much. But you know what? Even if you didn’t have any of those examples to experience right now, you still pictured them in your head. And guess what wasn’t in your mind for that instant? The feeling of being miserable.
Oh, don’t get me wrong! I know this isn’t what you signed up for when you started reading this. So let me go a bit further.
How about tomorrow?
So now that I’ve told you to appreciate right now, I’m talking about tomorrow? That’s just contradicting myself, isn’t it?!
Hear me out.
The problem is with appreciating the moment is the lack of continuity. You can interrupt your destructive thoughts by focusing on right now. But it will come back to haunt eventually. Our brains are simply incapable of not wandering after a while.
And that’s when you need to turn to tomorrow.
No, not in 5 years, not in 10 years. Who knows what you’ll be doing and where! Tomorrow.
Turn to the close future.
After disrupting your negative thoughts, you can use the bit of positive energy gained from appreciating that one tiny thing you noticed and think about tomorrow without that feeling of being miserable.
Obviously, your brain is not going to get tricked for long. After all, you cannot spend your life thinking about the wind caressing your skin. So this is why starting to towards the close future will be so crucial.
Looking at it through a, even if only a tiny bit, positive glass will give you the opportunity to turn your life around.
Focus on how tomorrow will be better and how you the small actions you can take now will make it just a bit better. And then do it tomorrow again, and the day after, and again.
Little by little, this will become a habit and you will start to have an overall positive view of your life.
You will start to notice those positive aspects compound and turn your life into a better version of what it was.
Wait a second. Is all this about running away?
Oh no! Don’t think you’re going to have to spend your life running away about your past!
After all, whatever happened to you, your past will stay your past forever.
You will never be able to erase what has already happened. So why not accept it as a fact?
After all, through the 2 above steps, you have become able to see the present and future can be positive. And for this simple reason, there’s no excuse to get rid of your past.
You became who you are today because of yesterday.
If you can be positive today, then why would you need to resent the past? Yes, it may not have been awesome. Yes, you could have hoped for a “better” past. But that’s out of your control now!
We constantly want to control every aspect of our life but the only thing in your control is what you’re planning on doing from now on.
It’ll take time for you to change things the way you want to, but with patience, you’ll stop feeling miserable and start feeling incredible!