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Blaming a Lack of Communication is a Mistake. Do This Instead
My ex is giving me the opportunity to focus on the right skill
My break-up with my ex last November not only broke the relationship itself, but it also broke me. I felt I was doing “well” for some time, but I was also being eaten away with regrets. One of them, in particular, felt like it’d never go away.
One of the main problems we had in our relationship was the lack of communication. I love talking but when it comes to having difficult conversations with someone I care for, I just run away. On her side, she kept for her what bothered her. A recipe for disaster if you stop to think about it for a second.
When I mentioned it during our break-up, she gave the idea of having a set day each week on which we would exchange about what went right and wrong the previous week. I heard it and thought:
“F***, that’s a good idea.”
But it had taken a lot out of me to start the conversation and I had decided to never bulge, no matter what she’d say. So I refused and ended the relationship.
Looking back, I realize that this was the first time we truly communicated and I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t open. In the end, she was willing to make the effort and I wasn’t.
