We all do mistakes and we unfortunately often end up blaming others for those.
“It’s his fault I couldn’t do this.”
“It’s their fault I lost motivation to do that.”
“I could have done it if they hadn’t bothered me.”
“They got me into a bad mental state so I didn’t do it.”
Blaming others is a very common thing to do. We all do it pretty much daily. As a French person, I am also particularly prone to do this since I grew up complaining constantly. I would even dare say I’ve complained a lot for a French person.
Yet, is it really useful? Do you have even one example of it having contributed to something positive in your life?
Go ahead. Take your time and think hard about it.
I doubt you do.
Blaming others takes the object of your discontentment outside of your Circle of Influence.
The circle of Influence contains all the things which you can impact directly. This also includes feelings obviously.
Blaming others changes the “owner” of said trouble. If others were to own what bothers you, you then lose the opportunity to get better, to move past what bothers you.
One of the blames we often do is to transfer our own lost of motivation onto others, stating we had the motivation but then a certain thing happened and it stopped us in our way.
There are always things outside of our control but it is within our jurisdiction to decide how we react to what bothers us.
Yes, you didn’t like what that other person did or said. But, is it him or her who forced you to stop whatever you wanted to do?
You’re right, it’s not.
You, yourself, used it as an excuse to not act on your goals. The one and only reason you haven’t acted is your lack of self-discipline.
Motivation cannot always be present.
You have it now, you think it’ll stay because of how strong it moves you now. And yet, there will be days when you simply cannot find the courage to act on your goals.
When such days arise, find the strength to accept the fact that it is your own fault and avoid making excuses by blaming others.
Pick yourself up and look ahead. Do you want to feel bad continually for having failed today? Do you want to stagnate where you are now forever? Or do you want to live your life to the fullest?
I sure hope it’s the last option.
If it is, realize you’re blaming others to help yourself feel better in the instant. Understand, this is just a placebo for the moment and you will only be able to move forward if you own your own shortcomings and decide to hold your circle of Influence within your own hands.