There are highs and lows in every aspect of our lives but giving up isn’t an option.
2019 has come upon us and a beautiful year is to come without fault. Seeing improvement in my writing, coding, Korean, Mandarin, etc., having finally started sharing my thoughts and the little I know online have brought me happiness in its purest form.
This being said, changing never is easy and I find myself pondering here and there the reasons. Luckily, I worked hard enough on myself and my goals in life so that whenever I do ponder the reasons, I always end up coming back to the same conclusion: I need to keep going.
Whether 1 person or 10 000 people read this article, it doesn’t really matter per se. Knowing that I’ve shared what I knew or felt even with one person is enough to make me feel great.
Then again, those numerous times when I wonder about what the recent past me would have done, or what I feel like I’d have loved doing even now, I cannot help but experiencing a worry, and even sometimes some sort of sadness.
Seeing posts and hearing of what friends of mine did for their new year party and thinking that I was awake before most of them even went to sleep makes me feel envious a bit.
This contradictory feeling was willingly created by me which is what makes it so important to look at.
In a normal situation, you would only contradict yourself unwillingly or in a case where you wouldn’t have much of a choice, right? Does that mean I contradicted my own feelings because I had no choice? Yes. At the beginning of this journey, the choice I gave myself was the below:
Do I want to keep living a “good” life where complaining is a large part of my day? or do I want to provoke change and actually be happy?
As a French person, I have gladly “bragged” about how good I was at complaining and how this was one of the rare traits from France that I kept after moving abroad. It would be an understatement to just say that we complain. I believe we excel at it.
However, there are limits to what complaining will bring you and one thing is sure: complaints won’t bring happiness.
For this reason, I decide to provoke change and put in the work to be a better version of myself. Change doesn’t come without worries or sadness so they will, without fault, be present along the way.
But if I remember the successes, the happiness brought to others around me and to myself as well, I think it’ll all work out.