What would you feel if you were told that you were stoic?
I suppose not that great since its connotation is rather negative in our society. We automatically picture someone without many emotions. That is commonly agreed upon meaning in English.
However, in Japanese, its most commonly used meaning is that of someone too severe, too strict. Someone not able to act without a specific plan set. All this in a very negative way.
I had been told so when I was extremely young, in middle school or so, but had forgotten about it for years. This had a very strong impact on my way of acting back then and made me change how I showed myself to the rest of the world. But, it seems this may have had a stronger impact than I thought since I have pretty much continued living that way since then.
Truth is, I blocked this off of my head and lived my life. I was still rather organized but never really showed how much. I didn’t organize myself as much as I could either, to be honest.
But then, it happened.
I was told once more I was stoic a few weeks ago.
That’s when it hit me. The memories, the uneasiness of back when I was first told years ago. It all came back. But, this time, I thought about it.
Why am I acting “stoically”? What makes me stoic in some parts? What has changed since the last time I was told?
Back when I was a kid, I was always organizing myself. Fun itself was on a planning and I was making sure I would be having fun during this specified time. This organization itself was what made me stoic. I was thinking of “fun” as an activity just like doing homework, eating, etc.
However, all this stoicism didn’t have a goal in itself. It was just my way of acting and no thoughts were put in this organization.
Now though, my current situation is extremely different. I organize myself without taking into account my feelings, but with a goal in mind.
As of right now, my mornings are what one could call stoic but I let the rest of my day flow and adapt based on what happens. This allows me to be efficient in the morning, do many things for myself and my future but doesn’t affect much the rest of the day. Apart from the overall happiness of having realized things in the morning obviously!
So what could you take from this small piece?
One simple thing I believe: Be stoic. But know you are being it and make it work for you.
If you know why you act the way you act, then there is meaning and purpose in it. And no matter if people make fun of this, you will be winning your day and life. And that’s what counts.