My Ex Told Me She’s Over Me Already
The most hurtful words I heard in a while came out of nowhere
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First, for those who follow me, let me start by saying this is not about the ex from 4 years go that I recently contacted.
This is about the ex I broke up with about three months ago, after a year and a half going out together.
We had a very inspiring breakup conversation back then. It was one of the most thoughtful and open conversations I had in years. I learned a lot and couldn’t be more thankful for it.
And yet, 3 months later, I find myself hurt again. Hearing three words over and over in my head.
About 2 weeks ago, my ex started getting in touch again. It’s been mostly random conversations, exchanging only a bit once every few days. Last night though, we had some kind of real conversation. Out of the blue, she said we could go to the bar where we last went for a drink, on the day of our final conversation.
I thought about it and told her I thought it could be too soon for me. After all, I’m doing fine every day but I always feel down the moment I reflect on our relationship. But then the conversation continued as follow:
Me: What about you? Are you ready to meet again?
Her: Yup, I am.
She did follow up with saying she had gone through a lot of feelings, many of which negative, but this “Yup, I am” was all I heard.
I am incredibly happy about the fact that she’s doing well, but I also can’t deny the pain felt. I was the one who broke up after all. So shouldn’t I be the one doing better? I’m also well-aware of how self-centered this mindset is and that fact makes me feel even worse.
Sure, I’m pretty satisfied with my life. There are ways it could be better, but it’s still a pretty nice life I’ve got over here.
And yet, the pain of being the only one still recovering hurts. I can’t help but overthink things.
I remember that when we started going out, she had just broken up 2 weeks before with her boyfriend of 3 years. Sure, they had been doing long-distance for the past 2 years or so, but what if she found someone quickly again? Should that make me sad? Shouldn’t I be happy? Is it…
