The difficulty of changing

There are highs and lows in every aspect of our lives but giving up isn’t an option.

2019 has come upon us and a beautiful year is to come. Without fault. Seeing improvement in my writing, coding, Korean, Mandarin, etc., having finally started sharing my thoughts and the little I know online have brought me happiness in its purest form.

This being said, changing is never easy and I find myself pondering here and there the reasons. Luckily, I worked hard enough on myself and my goals in life so that whenever I do ponder the reasons, I always end up coming back to the same conclusion: I need to keep going.

Whether 1 person or 10 000 people read this article, it doesn’t really matter per se. Knowing that I’ve shared what I knew or felt even with one person is enough to make me feel great and the hope of having any impact is all I need right now.

Then again, those numerous times when I wonder about what the recent past me would have done, or what I feel like I’d have loved doing even now, I cannot help be experiencing a worry, and even sometimes some sort of sadness.

Seeing posts and hearing of what friends of mine did for their new year party and thinking that I was awake before most of them even went to sleep makes me feel envious a bit. I just stayed in with my family and woke up early like any other day of the year.

This contradictory feeling was willingly created by myself which is what makes it so important to look at.

In a normal situation, you would only contradict yourself unwillingly or in a case where you wouldn’t have much of a choice, right? Does that mean I contradicted my own feelings because I had no choice? Yes. At the beginning of this journey, the choice I gave myself was the below:

Do I want to keep living a life where complaining is a large part of my day? or do I want to provoke change?

The answer was clear and easy for me. The action itself isn’t that much but knowing where I want to go will allow me to go through any hard time and succeed in pursuing my goals whilst being happy.

As says Gary Vee at the beginning of all his vlogs:

I just wanna be happy. Don’t you wanna be happy?

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