Tonight, It’s Okay To Be Hurt and Nostalgic

A Valentine’s day without a partner can bring positive things too

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

By the time I finish this story, Valentine’s Day will be over in Japan. Right now? It’s 11:54 p.m. here. I’m in my apartment hearing a bike passing by, far, far away.

Exactly a year ago, I was just coming back from an incredible evening with my girlfriend. Tonight? I’m back from a nice one with friends but it feels like so many others.

Did I not enjoy it? Did I feel alone? Did I feel surrounded? Did I feel loved? No. None of these. There were no positive nor negative feelings. In a way, you could think that means it was a negative experience. After all, “emptiness” isn’t exactly what I’d call “positive”.

And yet, I know I’ll remember tonight in a good light a week from now. My confused feelings will be gone. That’s what memory does for you — Thank you, dear brain of mine. Right now, though? I’m in full-on nostalgia-mode.

You’ve probably already been through all sorts of nostalgia. The kind that makes you cry. The one that pisses you off. The one that makes you smile. That one which makes you feel confused. You know that one too, right?

Currently, I’m in that last one. Full-on “what the hell” mode. Am I sad? No, I’m smiling. Am I happy…