You Don't Have To Feel Good All The Time
To be more precise, you shouldn’t.
About a month has passed since my grandmother passed away and I left my girlfriend. As time passes, things get better they say. But do they really?
There is a reason for so many people never getting over the loss of a loved one and entering a long period of depression. Luckily enough, I am quite sure I am avoiding such a reaction thanks to my approach to sadness.
The automatic response we have to a sorrowful event is to hope to get back to a “happy state” as quickly as possible. As a result, we end up pushing further and further any negative thoughts. On the surface, it would seem like a rather good solution: if you don’t think about it, then it isn’t there. Right?
Unfortunately, that is the wrong approach to such situations because it means we are trying to be happy without processing the experience fully.
Of course, letting ourselves fall prey to sadness without restraint is also a common pitfall. We just delve into the past, remembering all the good times and how much we miss those.
Like most people, I have done so numerous times throughout my life. After all, it took me about 3 years before I really got over my first ex.
Luckily, there is a way out and it is rather simple in theory. It comes back to one idea.
We notice the highs only when feeling low.
This can be interpreted in different ways but the most important is that we cannot feel “happiness ” without experiencing sadness. Does this mean we need to feel sad often if we wish to be happy? No, it doesn’t.
What it means is that a balance between happiness and sorrow needs to be established.
If we set as a starting point the fact that what we lost is not coming back, there is only one path: forward. Are you planning on feeling depressed for the rest of your life? I highly doubt it, so you will have to decide the future will be positive.
Of course, in a negative period of one’s life, it might feel almost impossible but to combat the sorrow, you need to remind yourself constantly of the opportunities ahead of you.
